She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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