Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
