so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This is the high leading the old right now
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
