just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
