The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
