Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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