ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize