My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
