I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
