guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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