Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
