allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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