do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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