just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
