this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
