so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
