So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
