Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
