Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
