i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
