I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
