I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
