You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
