ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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