I want to make a zoo with you.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
