Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Randomize
