From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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