She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
