I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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