i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
birth control should be required to get into college
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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