When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
