I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
