Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
