Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
