I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
