Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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