I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
