I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i was born a porn star she said
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
