So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
