it glows. i had to have it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
