Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
