i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
