were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
