He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
