I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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