Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
