Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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