Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
