How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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