By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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