shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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